What's wrong with ME?

What's wrong with me?  A question I've been asking myself now since I've entered my 5th year of singleness.  I look around at all my friends and most of them are in some type of relationship: good or bad.  I hate that I look at bad relationships as better than my situation which is NONE at all. 

The sad part is that I didn't even realize that it had been 5 years until I actually sat and thought about it.  My last relationship was with my youngest son father.  Our relationship had its good moments, but it definitely had its terrible ones.  Now, we are just parents.  Note I didn't say friends.  But when I met him I thought he was the perfect man for me.  A man that grew up in the church but wouldn't step foot in one today, not even for a funeral.  So, what does that say about me?

Well, today my first priority is not looks, bank account, car, job, house or kids.  My first thought is does this man love God and have a relationship with God.  If he has that then we can definitely go from there.  But that seems impossible to me. 

So, back to my original question: What's wrong with me?  I asked my niece that question and she said the usual "nothing" but "you don't put yourself out there anymore". 

Well, I don't go to clubs anymore.  I don't want to do the social website getting to know you thing either because I've found with the social sites (i.e Facebook, Myspace, Tagged, Black Planet) that most of the men on their just want one thing.  I say most because I did meet a guy on their a few years ago and we are still friends today.  Note I said "friends". 

So now, I'm wondering how exactly can a young single christian woman put herself out there????  Is it appropriate?  Is it possible?  I think so.  As a matter of fact isn't this what the singles ministry is for at a church?  But sadly, I've never experienced this with the singles ministry at any church.  The singles ministry usually consist of bowling events, or cookouts, or something along those lines and the group is usually entirely WOMEN!

It would be nice to have an event where the environment is set that everyone that comes knows this is a Christian setting and the purpose is for adult Christian single men and women to get together and actually get to know one another.  Is that soooo terrible?

*sigh*

Okay, so I'm getting off the subject.

Well, using my "spiritual eyes " LOL....I will attempt to answer my own question: What's wrong with me??  Nothing, I guess.  Maybe it's not time.  Maybe I have something to do and God needs me single to accomplish His goals for my life.  I don't always like this answer but I continue to ask God to give me peace with it because for me its not an easy pill to swallow.