Candace vs. Candace

"The War Within"



I feel as though I am at war with myself.  The old Candace vs. the re-newed Candace.  I know that God is here with my.  I know that He will never leave me or forsake me.  But the old Candace, doubting, unsure, insecure Candace is still present.  I don't even know if its possible to ever be rid of her.  The old Candace allows loneliness and self-pity take hold in the night.  During the day I can occupy my mind with projects, kids, whatever, its nights that's the hardest to deal with. 

I don't always win this war that I fight daily with myself.  In fact most days I lose, but I still feel like more than a conqueror because no matter how much I want to give up, I feel like that isn't even an option.



So, God I hear you even now telling me that "the battle is not mine, but yours" so even tonight and nights to come I will stand on your word.  I will allow you and your holy spirit to fight my battles because I cannot do it alone.

I am reminded of Peter and how he denied Christ.  I can't imagine how he felt to actually deny Christ right there in the flesh but I do know that many many many times I have denied Jesus and his plan for my life yet he has given me many many many chances to feed his flock. 

God is faithful even when we are not.

God I thank you that this fight, this war within myself is already won.  Lord, I believe your word, but help my unbelief.

In Jesus Name,
Amen