I haven't been on this blog in a minute but that's all about to change! It's a new year (2016) and if I had to be totally honest with myself I will just admit that I might have been avoiding this blog. It's called "Single and Saved" and for the past year or so I haven't exactly been representative of the title.
I don't ever claim to be a saint or perfect nor do I try to be. I do however, try my best to be totally honest, at least with myself. I can lie to a lot of people. I can fool a lot of people. But I cannot lie to myself and I cannot fool God. He knows me inside and out, through and through.
For the past year I haven't exactly been honest with myself in certain areas in my life. I've avoided dealing with some things and I paid the price for that.
In 2015 I learned some valuable lessons:
1. Life is not perfect.
2. Try to be happy and enjoy life in every situation.
3. I am a very strong person. Not because I want to be. Not because I strive to be. It's just a fact.
4. I've been wrong about a lot of people and things in the past.
5. And last but certainly not least: Always keep moving forward.
So since my last blog entry I have gotten into a relationship, moved to a new city twice, gotten engaged, gotten un-engaged (lol), had a baby, and written a book. Wow! To see it all layed out in black and white makes it even more real to me.
Needless to say, I have a whole lot of material!
I was actually going to say good-bye to this blog. While checking out all of my blogs ( I have a total of 9--see list below) I re-read the postings on this particular one and I all of a sudden got very sad. I remembered how when I began this journey (Single and Saved) I was just starting to be content with where I was in life which was: SINGLE.
I was enjoying life. I decided to own Candace and everything that entailed. I was just starting out in my 30's and re-discovering myself after another failed relationship. So I decided to do things God's way instead of my own. I was learning more about HIM and what HE wanted and expected from me as a single christian and also beginning to learn what it meant to be in a relationship. No not just a man-woman relationship but any relationship.
I learned that how I handled other relationships, (family, children, business, friends...) parallel my personal relationships. In my non-personal relationships I was selfish. I avoided conflicts and allowed them to alienate me from the person. I didn't really see value in myself so I never held anyone to a standard of respecting me and valuing my opinion or my feelings. This allowed for certain situations where I would be mistreated. But instead of confronting the situation head-on I avoided the situation and the person and eventually the relationship failed because of my lack of communication and willingness to stand up to them and for myself.
I've done a lot of (hard) growing up in the past few years. It didn't have to be hard. I made it that way. I made choices that made life harder and almost unbearable. So when I looked back at this blog and realized that if I had only stayed on this path I would be in great place right now instead of re-building...it hurt.
But, like I said I've learned a lot of valuable lessons and the greatest one of all is to " KEEP MOVING FORWARD" no matter what!
So that's what I've decided to do with this blog: Keep moving forward with it! I have some awesome and exciting plans for this blog. Stay tuned for more details within the coming week.
Stay Blessed,
Candace
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