Who Am I.

A question that I asked myself very early in life.  It seems that I have always been looking for something.  Asking questions about life and love and what is the meaning of it all.  And then I met God.  He introduced himself to me at the tender age of 14.  It was a time when I needed him very much.  I lost my father at 12 and things changed in my life.  I had always made good grades in school, after that my grades dropped.  I was never really interested in boys but after that I noticed them.  I was looking for something or someone to fill a void in my life.  An indescribable emptiness that only God could feel.  I remember feeling so sad and then getting so angry at God, wondering why He would take a way a very important person in my life before I ever had the chance to appreciate him.

I used to talk to God through tears telling Him how much I needed my father and his wisdom.  I began to blame all of my failed relationship on the fact that my father was taken out of my life.  But then one day when I stopped talking and actually began to learn how to listen to God he told me that HE was the best father I could ever hope for.  That HE would be the example for me to follow.  And that if I would just follow HIS instruction for my life I would be fine regardless.  That day I was released from chains that the devil had on my life for so many years. 

It is true God is our greatest example.  The bible tells us that men will fail us and to not put our trust in them but to always trust God.  A few years ago I was being interviewed by a reporter about my magazine.  When she heard my thoughts on women and self-esteem and when I told her that my father had passed away when I was very young she said that she was shocked to learn I had turned out the way I did. She began to quote statistics of women and young girls in my situations and how the world says that they will turn out. Well she must not know my GOD because with HIM all things are possible.

I give God all the praise and glory because without HIM I would NOT be who I am today.  God has saved me from so many things.  I am not perfect by far, but I know without a shadow of a doubt that without his wisdom, grace & mercy, and love I would be in a different place in my life.

I Am so many things through God.  I am more than a conqueror.  I am a city that sits upon a hill that cannot be hidden.  I am the light of the world.  I am who God says that I am.